If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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