You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize