he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I supernannyed him into submission
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize