dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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