He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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