you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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