Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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