I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm passing your future prison.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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