so that wasnt chicken after all
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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