Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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