Already got asked if we're dating
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize