Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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