Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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