u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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