So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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