I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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