It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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