I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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