accomplished twins. life is a go
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize