he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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