my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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