I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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