i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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