Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize