My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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