Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5

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(852): View more from

i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?

(256): View more from Alabama

Stay away from his face.

(852): View more from

so i go for his dick?

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(852): i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do? (256): Stay away from his face. (852): so i go for his dick? http://tfl.nu/3ce2

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(253): View more from Washington

oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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(253): oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body. (1-253): I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate. http://tfl.nu/e4ca

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(347): View more from New York

you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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(347): you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair. http://tfl.nu/pf7y

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(860): View more from Connecticut

New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

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(860): New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache http://tfl.nu/a5vx

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(619): View more from California

We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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(619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz

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(701): View more from North Dakota

My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.

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(701): My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying. http://tfl.nu/rpdb

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(619): View more from California

Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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(619): Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't. http://tfl.nu/8mv6

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(607): View more from New York

Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?

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(607): Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates? http://tfl.nu/4l3k

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

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(757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q

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(818): View more from California

Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.

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(818): Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors. http://tfl.nu/xlbe

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(+61): View more from Australia

Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?

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(+61): Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace? http://tfl.nu/wr2n

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(616): View more from Michigan

be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

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(616): be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra http://tfl.nu/3wvg

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

My god, what have you done?

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(203): Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship. (1-203): My god, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/3iim

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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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(775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq

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