I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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