I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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