Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize