So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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