How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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