I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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