this beer tastes like vomit already
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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