How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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