we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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