why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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