Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm both gender and math confused
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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