Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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