After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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