I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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