and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she told me i tasted like america
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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