So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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