We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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