Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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