D3 body, D1 cock
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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