My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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