I don't think brook has ever known best
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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