I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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