I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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