I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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